Nothing As It Seems
by RockyD
Summary: Spike is scorned after Buffy's rejection and the failure his BuffyBot turned out to be. Spying on a moment of friendliness between Buffy and Xander, Spike convinces himself that its Xander that's standing in the way of his path to Buffy's heart.
1. Almost Happy

Untitled Document

"Nothing As It Seems"  
Episode: #2 - "Almost Happy"

  
Author: RockyD  
E-mail: dollen@frontiernet.net  
Category: A/X, B/X and delusional B/S  
Rating: PG-14 (nothing worse than the show)  
Summary: Spike is scorned after Buffy's rejection and the failure his BuffyBot turned out to be. Spying on a moment of friendliness between Buffy and Xander, Spike convinces himself that its Xander that's standing in the way of his path to Buffy's heart. He sets out to remove Xander as an obstacle by any means necessary.  
Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, they belong to Joss   
Whedon and Co. The only thing I lay claim to is the excruciating torture I put them through... and I'm sure they love me for it.  
Author's Note: When plot bunnies attack. Watching the rerun of "Intervention" last week, and got a twisted little idea about how to use something. Don't want to give too much away. Hopefully this'll tide over the 3 or 4 fans I have that are waiting on pins and needles for the rest of Find Your Way Home.  
Author's Note #2: For reference, the series title (which is still up in the air) is a song by Garbage. The episode title is a song by K's Choice. Both equally good songs. *salute* That is all.  
Feedback: YES! I desperately need it, like an addiction. I haven't had it in ages. It would be appreciated. 

*FADE TO: The Magic Box, late night. Research night... again.*

Giles looked at Spike, "Spike, could you go and get that stack of new tomes in the basement?"  
  
Spike made a mocking face and salute, "Yessir." He headed down the stairs grumpily.  
  
"I swear, any minute now all this reading is gonna drive me batty... the books will jump up and start flapping like butterflies, and we'll all have to run in terror. Anybody else getting that vibe?"  
  
"Xander, we need to be serious." Buffy scolded, despite the image playing in her mind.  
  
He nodded, "I understand that, Buff. But seriousness isn't going to do us a whole lot of good if we're passed out, face down on this here table. I say we adjourn for the night and come back first thing in the morning. We'd all focus a lot better on a full night sleep."  
  
Giles let out a yawn, and nodded acceptance, "I do believe Xander has a good idea. We may overlook something important in our current states. It would be in our best interests to break for the night." Xander looked at him with a childish smile. He knew just how to break the tension in any situation. Giles saw the look, and rolled his eyes, "Alright, I'll say it. Heaven above forgive me, but... Quittin' time."  
  
They all laughed at once, "See Giles? I told you it'd pay off." He packed up his books and started putting them away. The others did the same. Buffy came nearby, to put away a few books of lore. She tried unsuccessfully to place a book on the highest part of the bookshelf. When she repeatedly failed, she began reaching for a foot stool. Xander saw this, and took a big hopping step from where he was to Buffy's side.  
  
"Let me help with that, m'lady." He used his slight advantage in height to put the book away. She smiles thankfully and puts the rest of her books away. Xander grabbed his satchel and threw it over his shoulder, "Well, I better get moving... Anya is watching over Dawn with Tara... lord knows what crazy things she'll get those them to do. You know how impressionable Anya is." Xander smirked.  
  
"Wait up, Xander. I might as well come along to check up on Dawn." He nodded and held the door open for her. Buffy turned back for one moment, "Oh, Giles, I'll be in a little late for training... have to pick up Dawn from sleeping over at Xander's on my way over." He nodded, "And Willow, we'll be sure to send Tara home as soon as we get there." She turned and followed Xander out of the shop.  
  
In the door of the training room, Spike stood, leaning against the frame. He's staring at the front door as if to burn a hole through it with his gaze. He's playing the previous scene over and over in his mind. Buffy putting away books, Xander was rushing to help her. A scowl slowly formed on his features, almost giving him a demonic look in his human features. He slams his fist into the wall before rushing forward to grab his coat and head out the door as well.

*CUT TO: Buffy and Xander walking home. They're making small talk.*

"And so Anya walked *right* into the window. She didn't remember she'd closed it, y'see, and so *wham*. I spent the whole rest of the day trying to calm her down because she thought some magician had put up a force field. Ah, the glory days of Anya's humanity." He chuckled.  
  
Buffy giggled in chorus, "Your ex-demon girlfriend and her run in with the plate glass. Your life's full of madcap hilarity, Xand."  
  
"Army of Darkness." Xander blurted out.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Buffy looked confused.  
  
"My life is like the Evil Dead movie series. I'm Bruce Campbell, I've got a shotgun and a chainsaw for an arm. I'm constantly being upended by hordes of evil creatures, and all my attempts to return to normalcy are met with minor screw ups that throw me completely off course."  
  
Buffy simply nodded, not really understanding, "So you're comparing your life to the plot of a movie."  
  
"Of course. Everybody's life is like the plot of a movie at some point in time. Mine just happens to be the Evil Dead series. Of all the luck."  
  
Buffy patted him on the back, and comfortingly said, "Xander, have you ever considered therapy?"  
  
"Laugh now, Buffster..." He sighed, "God, why can't I ever have a Brewster's Millions day? I think I deserve that, don't I?"  
  
Buffy couldn't help but laugh, "Basing the worth of your life against cheesy movies? Xander, how do you do it?"  
  
He shrugged, a playful grin on his face, "I look at you, and I see Dirty Dancing."  
  
Buffy played along, "What about me screams 'Dirty Dancing.'"  
  
He smiled, "Did I say anything about screaming? It's just... a wide-eyed girl, facing a harsh reality before she's ready. Confronting it head on, and growing into a fine young woman before her family's eyes. Everything about you says 'Dirty Dancing,' Buffy."  
  
Buffy remained silent after that. Her face showed she was being thoughtful. She suddenly spoke softly, "An Officer and A Gentleman."  
  
"Huh?" He thought, "How am I 'An Officer and A Gentleman?' Am I a brat who joins the navy and has to deal with training with Louis Gossett Jr.?"  
  
She shook her head, "No. You're headstrong and determined. You go the Xander way. You're responsible when it comes down to it. And you'd probably look good in a uniform." It was her turn to smirk, and he began to blush.  
  
They happened upon the front door to Xander's apartment complex, and exchanged a nervous chuckle, "I suppose we should head in and get a rope on our girls." Xander suggested, opening the front door for her. She simply nodded in reply.  
  
As the door slowly swung closed, Spike stepped past the side of the building. He frowned deeply, and stomped off back the direction they came.

*CUT TO: Xander's apartment. The front door swings open, and Buffy follows Xander in.*

"Hey hey, how are my three favorite ladies?" Xander asked brightly.  
  
Dawn rolled her eyes, "You always say that, Xander." She paused, suddenly curious, "What about Buffy?"  
  
Xander looked and did a quick recount, noting that there were four girls in his apartment. He had to cover quickly, "Uh, I was counting her." He looked at Tara, "I think you're great and all, Tar, but it's Willow's department when it comes to the lovin'." She smirked lightly.  
  
Anya frowned, "Xander, must you always say that 'favorite ladies' thing?" She moped, "You're only supposed to have one."  
  
Xander walked over to her, lifting her chin and giving her a kiss, "You know I only have one. It's you and only you." A small smile came to her lips and she relaxed. The scene made everyone else in the room uncomfortable except for Tara, who observed the reactions of both Dawn and Buffy with interest.  
  
Xander moved so Anya was at his side, their arms around each other, "Tar, I promised Wills I'd send you home right away, so you can't make me a promise breaker." Xander said childishly, grinning widely.  
  
Dawn looked surprised, "Wait... Tara isn't staying over? But I thought we were going to have a, y'know, slumber party."  
  
Tara sympathized and gave Dawn a hug, "I'd love to, sweetie, but Willow and I have to go to some job interviews tomorrow, and have to be up early."  
  
Dawn was mortified at the thought of spending the night alone with just Anya and Xander. Xander she didn't mind at all, cause she still had a major crush on him. Anya, on the other hand, she couldn't stand, and didn't understand how Xander did either. She looked to her sister desperately, either to ask to go home, or beg her to stay too. She decided on the latter, "Buffy... could you stay too? I don't want to be lonely." She gave her best puppy dog eyes.  
  
Buffy wasn't sure. She wanted to be there for her sister, with everything that had happened in the past year. She also didn't know if she would withstand more of the Anya and Xander mush. She was proud of how strong their love seemed to be, and wish them the best... but Anya's glaring flaws and stagnant personal growth kept slapping her in the face. Xander was happy though, and she supposed that was all that mattered.  
  
She was startled as Dawn waved her hand in front of her face and questioned her again. She looked to Xander, "Xand?"  
  
Almost automatically, Xander smiled and said, "Sure, Buff. There's plenty of room at the Hotel Xander." Buffy couldn't help but notice the daggers Anya was staring him while Xander wasn't looking. Looking at her(Buffy), more accurately. She wasn't sure what to make of that. She mentally shrugged and turned back to her sister, "Sure, I can stay here with you, Dawn." Dawn did a little celebration bounce, "But," Buffy halted, "You have to pay for the pizza." Dawn frowned momentarily, but nodded.  
  
Xander had a small smile on his face. He was happy to see the sisters getting along well in the hard times. He hugged Anya tighter too him and declared, "We can set up some sleeping quarters for the both of you... maybe Tara would appreciate an escort out there in the dark, dark night?" Tara smiled shyly and nodded, "We'll have the pizza ordered and the sleeping bags set by the time you get back. The usual toppings, right?"  
  
His smile was infectious, "You know it." She hugged Dawn and bid them goodbye, "I'll be back." Tara followed her out the door.

*CUT TO: A darkened bedroom. An indistinguishable young man is snoring quite loudly.*

A sudden banging on his window startles him out of his slumber. He stumbled disoriented to the window and tried to see who it was. He looked surprised when he saw it was Spike looking annoyed. He shook his head and started heading back to bed, but Spike hit his window again.  
  
He cautiously opened the window and stuck his head out, "What do you want? I told you I wasn't in the robot business anymore. I meant it, now go away."  
  
"You're out of the robot business when I say you are." The boy continued walking away, "Get back here, boy, or I'll bang on your window every night for the rest of your bloody life." The boy grumbled but grabbed some materials and climbed out the window to follow him.

*CUT TO: Spike's crypt. He's prodding (without actually touching) Warren in front of him with a make-shift spear.*

The young man dropped his bag on the floor and turned around. Spike slammed the crypt door shut and made sure it was secure, before putting his spear down.  
Warren crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked annoyed, "Whatever you want, I won't do it. I'm not going to make you another robot."  
  
Spike walked over to his trap door, leading to his daytime exit, and flipped the door open, "I don't want you to build me another sodding robot." He leaned down into the hole, seeming to grab at something. Warren saw his distraction and started making towards the exit. As if he saw this, Spike belted out, "Won't do a bit of good, the crypt door is sealed tight."  
  
Warren stopped in his tracks and cursed to himself. Spike pulled himself back out of the hole, with the end of a rope in his hand. He swung the rope around a nearby pillar, and used it as leverage to winch up an item from down below.  
  
The item, covered in a drape, slowly made its way up as Spike pulled it. It finally came to rest on the floor, causing Spike to let go of the rope and prop it upright.   
  
In one, perhaps anticlimactic action, Spike pulled the drape off to reveal the BuffyBot.  
  
Warren looked semi-surprised, "I thought you said this was destroyed?"  
  
Spike glared, "Well, mate, that's what I thought. Found out the bloody goof troop was just hiding it."  
  
Warren went back to being annoyed, "What do you want me to do?"  
  
Spike threw his arm around the bot's shoulders and tried to look non-chalant, "I want you to fix her." Warren looked about to speak, "Tut, tut... I want you to fix her, and then I want you to do a little reprogramming."  
  
Warren paled, "You don't want me to make her kill people, do you?"  
  
Spike shook his head, then stopped and thought about it for a second. He gave it serious thought, before shaking his head again, "No... just want to improve her for extracurricular use."  
  
Warren looked down and blushed, "I, uh, I'm not sure I can do any more improving there..."  
  
Spike rolled his eyes, "Not like that. Americans. I've got a little plan for her, and I want to... round out her programming so she isn't so damned spotty in the 'Buffy' department. The original was a sodding Barbie."  
  
"What kind of things do you want changed?"  
  
Spike handed him a notebook, with a bunch of scribbly writing in it. Spike resumed his stern look, "You're working on that in here until it's done. I'll bring you food and whatever else you want. But I expect a bloody masterpiece, understand?"  
  
Warren nodded. Spike picked up one last item, a picture that can't quite be made out from a distance. He handed it to Warren, who was puzzled, "Who is this?"  
Spike sneered as he answered, "The enemy."


	2. End It On This

Untitled Document

"Nothing As It Seems"  
Episode: #2 - "End It On This"

  
Author: RockyD  
E-mail: dollen@frontiernet.net  
Category: A/X, B/X and delusional B/S  
Rating: PG-14 (nothing worse than the show)  
Summary: A couple of weeks after "Almost Happy". Nothing special has happened. Xander goes out patrolling with Buffy. The night doesn't end as expected.  
Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, they belong to Joss   
Whedon and Co. The only thing I lay claim to is the excruciating torture I put them through... and I'm sure they love me for it.  
Author's Note: When plot bunnies attack. Watching the rerun of "Intervention", and got a twisted little idea about how to use something. Don't want to give too much away. Hopefully this'll tide over the 3 or 4 fans I have that are waiting on pins and needles for the rest of Find Your Way Home.  
Author's Note #2: For reference, the series title The episode title is a song by No Doubt. *salute* That is all.  
Feedback: YES! I desperately need it, like an addiction. I haven't had it in ages. It would be appreciated. 

  
*FADE TO: The Magic Box, they're all gathered around the research table.*

Dawn had her nose buried in a thick, worn book, "Oh my god, I can't believe this."  
  
They all perked up, looking at her intently. Giles rushed over, "What is it, Dawn? Something important?" Dawn nodded emphatically, "Is it some sort of prophecy?"  
  
Dawn simply frowned, "Reckon is an actual word." She gestured towards the word Xander had just spelled out on the Scrabble board. Dawn cried, "I thought it was just slang... but it's here in the dictionary."  
  
Xander just grinned, "Never challenge a Xander, Dawnie. It's like a vampire trying to get the best of the Buffster. Just not gonna come out to your advantage."  
  
They both sobered at Giles' unamused glare. Once he turned around, they shared a giggle. Xander picked up a few letters off the table and declared, "Your turn, Will." He saw her face light up, "And remember, no -ologies."  
  
Willow stuck her tongue out at him and she started putting down her next word.  
  
As she did, Buffy came in the front door. She quietly pulled off her jacket, revealing a solid maroon shirt and a name tag reading 'Buffy'. She hung the jacket on the back of one of the chairs, and let out a frustrated sigh, "Xander, how do you do it? Jobs suck."  
  
He tried not let his resentment of her comment get to him as he replied cooly, "A regimin consisting of lots of breaks and a little bit of daydreaming." He stood up and put a consoling arm around her, "Just think about every one of those burgers you flip as a vampire waiting to be slayed. Slap those suckers down, let 'em hiss until their blue in the face, and then slide that spatula right under their heart and plop them on a bun. Y'see? The similarities are endless."  
  
Buffy looked at him like he was changing colors, "Have I ever told you how much I fear you?"  
  
"Surprisingly a common response for me from the ladies." Xander said, a bit ruefully.  
  
Giles approached from the back room and spotted Buffy, "Ahh, Buffy, you're here." He walked up to her, carrying a checklist, and noticed her attire, "I don't wish to be a bother to you since I see you worked tonight... but I'd like you to go out and patrol tonight. There have been a few suspicious deaths that I'd like you to check out."  
  
Buffy nearly gave him a death glare. Before she could, Xander jumped up and averted disaster, "That should be fine, G-Man... Buff and I can go out and patrol, and report to you in the morning. Sound like a plausible?"  
  
Giles reluctantly nodded, before handing them a small list of locations. He returned to looking at his checklist again. Buffy noticed and pressed him about it, "Is there something wrong, Giles?"  
  
He was surprised. They rarely bothered to pick up on his moods, let alone call it to attention. He replied, "Oh? Yes... well, no. I've had the strangest feeling that something is missing from the storeroom. But I've gone over the inventory twice and have come up with nothing. I suppose it's just a side effect of me getting old."  
  
Xander patted him on the back, "Hey, hey, Giles. You're not old. You might not be a hip 'young man/woman' like the rest of us, but that in no way makes you old. Just a bit more experienced in the 'wisdom' department." Xander dropped his hand and looked around, "Why do I suddenly sound like an after school special?"  
  
Buffy giggled and backed him up, "Probably because you're right."  
  
Xander smiled, "Hey, score one for the good guys." He packed up his things into his satchel bag and prepared to leave. "Just gotta make a call to An and I'll be on the road." He pulled his cell phone out of his satchel and dialed his home phone number, walking over to where the talk would be more private.  
  
Buffy watched him talk to his girlfriend with a strange sense of jealousy. It had hit her a few weeks back as well. She just chalked it up to missing that kind of relationship herself. That had to be it.  
  
"Yeah, An, that's all it is. Routine patrol. I'll be home before ten, I promise. Just stay there and I'll come running home to you. Yeah, I love you too. See ya later." Xander snapped the mouthpiece of his cell phone closed and smiled, "Handiest things I've ever seen. Glad I bought one."  
  
He put the phone back in his satchel and motioned for Buffy to take the lead. He still performed his gentlemanly duties by opening the door for her, but the Slayer led the way.

*CUT TO: Patrol. Random graveyard.*

Xander held a vampires arms behind its back, pushing his knee between the two to give himself a little distance from any flying pieces of wood Buffy might throw his way. No need to get himself staked on a routine patrol.  
  
With clockwork efficiency, Buffy delivered the killing blow to the newborn vampire, and his dust floated all over Xander. Her forward motion carried her into him, and they both crashed to the ground. The stolen glance lasted a mere moment, but left them both uncomfortable.  
  
Xander coughed up some dust and commented jokingly, "Well, I think the lesson learned here is never use the crane stance to hold off a vampire." He dusted himself off.  
  
Buffy nodded, trying not to crack a smile at his tension breaker, "He seemed really cranky."  
  
Xander let a small laugh escape, "Well, y'think... I mean, the whole death thing, waking up under a bunch of dirt... oh, and a couple of people out trying to kill him again. That's enough to make even Mary Sunshine just a wee bit cranky."  
  
Buffy finally laughed, and started getting up. Xander lept to his feet in order to provide her a hand to lean on. She smiled at the gesture and accepted it. They both finished dusting off and started heading towards the next marked grave.  
  
They were quiet for the next few minutes, before Buffy spoke up, "You didn't have to come out patrolling with me, Xander. I could have done it by myself."  
Xander stopped and glared at her, "We have this talk just about every night I patrol with you, don't we? I don't do it because I have to or don't have to, Buff. I do it because I want to. You were pretty frazzled tonight, and I just wanted to help make it easier on you."  
  
Buffy nodded, accepting but not really understanding just why he helped, and continued, "You've got Anya to go home to. Aren't you scared you'll get hurt and she'll be left all by herself?"  
  
Xander tried to focus on anything but her eyes. He stared straight at the portion of her name tag that was sticking out from her jacket as he replied, "Sure I am, Buff. So much sometimes that my knees knock together, but there's a bigger issue at work. We're fighting a big battle. Good vs. Evil, and all. I just want to make a difference. If we can save one more life, or stake one more vamp every night because I come along, then it makes it worthwhile."  
  
Buffy had the faintest smile on her face, not that Xander could see, "That's really noble, Xander." It was her turn to avert her eyes, "I can't say I mind having you around. You're not as much of a punching bag as you used to be, and your penchant for breaking the tension really comes in handy. I just think, and Anya would agree with me I'm sure, that you're worth much more to the world alive than dead. And thats a risk you take here every night."  
  
Xander nodded, "And it's a risk I'll take. Over and over. Because we all want you to be the longest living slayer ever. We want you to see every birthday you'll ever want to. And even the one's you don't, because we'll be there to hold you up." He pulled her into a quick hug, "You're worth much more to the world alive than dead, too."  
  
Buffy smiled, returning the one that came to Xander's face as he spoke, and pulled him back into the hug, tightly. When not in her field of vision, Xander's smile grew ten times wider. His mind said to him, 'Well worth the wait and the absence of the puffy suit.'  
  
He patted Buffy's back a few times, "Am I still your Puffy Xander?"  
  
Her laugh was childish and full of amusement, "Always. Though, kinda not puffy now." She didn't mind that at all, though.  
  
A rustling in the bushes startled them. They looked around, weapons at the ready, to find no one. Buffy pushed her Slayer senses to their limit and found nothing. They exchanged a look and shrugged at the same time.  
  
Xander pulled the list out of his pocket and looked up the next location. After pointing in one direction, Buffy led the way and they quietly exited the cemetary.

*CUT TO: The hallway outside Xander's apartment. Buffy and Xander are walking slowly down it, in the middle of chitchat.*

"So then Spike said... 'Lay off me Wheatabix, ya welt!'" Xander imitated Spike's accent near perfectly, which earned another bright smile and laugh from Buffy.  
  
They stopped outside his door, and exchanged an awkward moment, "Tonight was, surprisingly fun. Thanks for not bullying me into coming home right away, Buff."  
She nodded, "It was fun. I'm glad I didn't bully you either, without you I..." Something caught her eye, "Do you usually leave your door ajar?"  
  
He looked at it too, seeing it slightly open. He made a contemplative noise, then answered, "No, I guess An must have just forgotten to close it all the way. Maybe I should go talk to her."  
  
"I'll come with you." Buffy said, as she reached into her pocket to grasp a stake. Her spidey-sense was tingling, but she didn't want to jump to conclusions.  
  
Xander pushed the door open gently, letting it swing open on its own. The sight that lay before him brought his vocabulary down to three little words, spoken so softly they were almost inaudible, "Oh my god..."  
  
Moments later, he was bounding into the room, without fear for himself, to rush towards where Anya lay. Buffy followed, more cautiously, keeping her eyes open.  
Xander could barely stomach the state Anya was in. She was bruised, beaten, and in some places broken. One of them was the most important. Her neck was bent at an indecent angle, obviously the finishing touch. Xander just sat there holding her delicately in his arms. He was near the point of sobbing, but from what Buffy could see he was suppressing it. She didn't understand why, even the Slayer would be crying at that point. She almost was, but was too shocked by the sight to let it all sink in.  
  
Slipping into Slayer mode, Buffy patrolled around the apartment, looking for signs of whatever might have done this. The only thing out of the ordinary was the bent latch on the balcony door, but not broken glass anywhere nearby. So far she couldn't make any sense of it.  
  
That's when she heard the sobbing. She turned to see Xander, sitting back on his haunches, slowly crying a river of tears. His hold on Anya had slipped, and she had returned to her spot on the floor where she had been found.  
  
She wanted desperately to go over and comfort him in some way or another. She just didn't know how. She'd shut down after her mother died, and no one could touch her where she'd gone. It could be the same for Xander, she just didn't know.  
  
The thought then occured to her to call someone. She returned to the hallway and dug Xander's cell phone out of his satchel. She didn't know who to call... Giles, or 911? A quick glance told her that Anya was not likely to be alive after what she'd been dealt, so she dialed the number of Giles place.  
  
"Uh, hello?"  
  
"Giles, it's me."  
  
"Buffy, is... is something amiss?"  
  
"Y-yeah, Giles... I need you to come over to Xander's apartment right now... get the others, I can't explain this over the phone." She hung up abruptly and dropped the phone into the satchel. She walked over to Xander and did the only thing she could think to. She grabbed him from behind in a hug and didn't let go as he continued to sob loudly.

*CUT TO: An anonymous graveyard, daytime. The gang stands around in a scene similar to that of Joyce's funeral, only with much fewer people.*

The ceremony had been brief and ordinary. Her gravestone was simplistic but effective. Xander couldn't afford anything more.  
  
After it was over, he stood over by himself, leaning against a tree. He watched a sparse collection of people visiting the graves of their loved ones. He had prayed he'd never have to do something like that, for a long, long time.  
  
He didn't hear the footsteps coming up behind him, but he felt the presence, and responded quietly, "Buffy."  
  
"How did..."  
  
"You get a sense about things after so long, Buffy. I just wish I'd had it that night."  
  
"Xander, it isn't your fault!"  
  
His tone got angrier, "It isn't? If I had been home, or if she'd been with me... I wouldn't be doing this goddamned ritual all over again. I can't honestly see a way that this *isn't* my fault."  
  
Buffy responded to his tone in kind, she grabbed his arm, albeit lightly, "You were there, Xander. Whatever did that to her, it would have gotten you too. We'd be burying the both of you today instead. I'm not saying you wouldn't have tried, because I do know you better than that. This thing was just too much."  
  
He sighed, "I don't want to argue with you, Buffy. Not *today* and not over this. I just wish there wasn't so much more more I could have done."  
  
She looped her arm through his and gave it a light squeeze, "Welcome to the reality I face too, Xander. I feel horrible for ever death I'm not able to prevent. It's a consquence of the life we lead, and it's something we just have to learn to live with. I know you loved, Anya. Instead of moping and retreating because of her *death*, why don't you try to live your *life* the way she would want you too."  
  
"I really wish it were that easy, Buffy. I know you're right, because it's what we all preached to you when we lost Joyce... it's just gonna take time, y'know?" He gave her a weak, empty smile in hopes of satisfying her for the moment.  
  
"And we'll be here for you, Xand." She returned the smile genuinely. She pulled him into a hug, which he returned.  
  
"I know, Buff, I know." He looked over her shoulder, where the were starting to throw the dirt back over Anya's grave. Life wouldn't be the same after this.


	3. Father Of Mine

Untitled Document

"Nothing As It Seems"  
Episode: #3 - "Father Of Mine"

  
Author: RockyD  
E-mail: dollen@frontiernet.net  
Category: A/X, B/X and delusional B/S  
Rating: PG-14 (nothing worse than the show)  
Summary: A couple more weeks after "End It On This". Reeling from Anya's death, Xander foolishly goes to his family to seek comfort. It serves to only drive him deeper into his depression.  
Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, they belong to Joss   
Whedon and Co. The only thing I lay claim to is the excruciating torture I put them through... and I'm sure they love me for it.  
Author's Note: When plot bunnies attack. Watching the rerun of "Intervention", and got a twisted little idea about how to use something.  
Author's Note #2: For reference, the series title The episode title is a song by Everclear. *salute* That is all.  
Feedback: YES! I desperately need it, like an addiction. It would be appreciated. 

  
*FADE TO: The ominous Harris household, exterior, early evening. Xander stands before it, looking like a lost child.*

He had always hated the place. Always. At least as long as he'd had the capacity to hate anything. He had always been treated as a mistake. Something that went wrong, but which couldn't be fixed. Even more, he hated to come back. It was like voluntarily locking yourself back in prison with Bubba, the guy you feared in the shower.  
  
He could hear the arguing already, even standing as far out as the sidewalk. It was a wonder no one had ever filed a complaint for disturbing the peace, but then again, the SDPD wasn't exactly known for its efficiency.  
  
He nervously made his way up the front steps. Taking each step so cautiously, one would think he was making his way through a mine field, he went up the walk.   
Every uncomfortable childhood memory played itself out for him during the seemingly endless trek up the concrete paving, in living, painful color. The drinking, the yelling, the abandonment, and especially the violence. He nearly flinched involuntarily as a particularly vicious blow was landed on his past self in his mind's eye.  
  
Each knock he laid on the door... well, was like a nightmare come true. But it wasn't until the door was actually answered, by his shivering, bruised mother, that his nightmare really began. She looked at him with such a pure and unbidden fear, that his heart nearly shattered. She may never have been the most caring mother, but even she didn't deserve such treatment.  
  
Her voice was merely a whisper, "Alexander," but it was enough to catch his father's attention. He roared, grabbing his mother's shoulder and shoving her out of the way; roughly to the floor. He looked at Xander with an equal amount of rage as his mother had fear.  
  
"So, the useless buffoon who couldn't get out of here fast enough comes back. What's wrong, boy, here to ask for money?" Xander could smell the alcohol from where he was standing outside. He had hoped, pointlessly as he knew alcohol was in his father's system all the time, that he might be able to get through this in a civil manner.  
  
"No, dad, I came to talk." The laugh that came out of his father made him flinch.  
  
"What the hell do you have to say that I should even care about?" His voice was hoarse from laughing so hard.  
  
"I came to talk to you about Anya..." He paused, trying to regulate his breath as he spoke the name, "Anya Emerson. T-the girl who came to see me here at the house before I moved out." He could barely keep the emotions in check that her memory brought. Unfortunately, the little bit he let slip was enough for his father to recognize, and he jumped at the opportunity to cause the young man pain.  
  
"What's wrong, boy? Did the stupid bitch leave you?" There was amusement in his voice.  
  
If it weren't for the screen door between them, Xander was sure he'd have hit the man that instant. Suppressing the anger he wished to unleash, he simply balled his fist and gritted his teeth as he answered, "No *dad,* she died."  
  
His father took a big swig from his bottle, and looked at his son disinterestedly, "So?" The man had barely the time to blink before the screen between him and his son split apart, and the young man's hands were on him. His bottle went flying into the front yard, shattering instantly, and a strong hand pulled him forward by his collar, as close as he could get without being pulled through the screen door.  
  
"Listen here *dad.* You need to be glad I'm not interested in making a scene right now. If I ever hear you badmouth Anya, or hear *about* you badmouthing Anya... I swear to God I'll make what you put me through all those years look like a walk in the park, you hear me?" He didn't even wait for a response before tossing the man backward into the house. He looked at him with deep sorrow, "I came here today, hoping we could be civil and talk like a real family. But I didn't even make it over the threshold before you saw fit to make me feel stupid again. I should have known I wouldn't find my real family in this house. Goodbye, Mom."  
  
He turned around and stalked back down the walk towards his car. He mumbled to himself as he went, "Should have known better than to expect sympathy here."

*CUT TO: The Magic Box, early evening. Giles is attending to the shop on his own.*

He handed the money to the customer, giving them a warm smile, "Thank you for shopping The Magic Box." When the person left, he went about locking the doors and starting to restock.  
  
He'd gotten pretty involved in the process, when there was a loud knock on the door. Not used to getting visitors this late, unless one of the members of their supernatural circle called in advanced, Giles grabbed a small axe from off the wall and proceeded cautiously towards the front.  
  
He was more than a little surprised to find Xander standing outside in the slightly chilly weather. Or perhaps his shivering was from another cause. He stepped through quickly, not waiting for an invitation, and went to sit by the round table.  
  
Giles approached him with concern, "Xander, is there something wrong?"  
  
Xander looked at him with a raised eyebrow, "That how you greet all your guests?"  
  
Giles glanced towards his hand, still brandishing the axe in a semi-defensive posture. He quickly lowered it, "Yes, err, no... *is* there something wrong?"  
  
Xander let out a heavy, ragged sigh, "I... I didn't have anywhere else to go, Giles."  
  
The look of anguish on the young man's face moved Giles to pulling up a chair and sitting nearby, "Are you all right, Xander?"  
  
Xander was looking at the ground, furiously fighting back something he didn't seem to want to let go of. As he looked up, Giles had to suppress a gasp when he saw the boy was crying quietly. Unsure of what to do, Giles did the same thing he would have if it were Buffy here with him. He extended a comforting arm around the young man's shoulders, and simply supported him through the silent sobbing.  
  
When Xander had regained enough composure to speak, his breathing was labored and broken by the occasional sniffle, "I don't think I've really, properly mourned... Anya, yet. I wanted to be 'supporto guy' for everybody else, just like I always *try* to be... but I just can't take it anymore, Giles, it's killing me."  
  
Giles looked at the person before him, and couldn't help but feel for him. He tried to advise him as best as he could, "Xander, you should *not* feel you have to put up a brave face in front of us... we are all here for you, just like you are for us. Anya's death is hardest on you, and holding that in like you have, can only lead to hurting more in the long run."  
  
Xander was amazed by the look Giles was giving him. One of fatherly concern. He would never have imagined the once stuffy Britishman would ever be considered a father in his view, but that's just what he'd become. He sighed deeply again, "I know... We've got a tightly knit group here... I was just scared it would all fall apart if I fell through... I didn't want to disappoint you guys... Especially not with my personal problems." He looked back down at the ground in defeat.  
  
Giles pulled his face back up, "Xander... it's just as personal for us as it was for you..." He paused, "Well, yes, maybe not as quite... but Anya was special to us all... you can hardly be blamed for wanting to break down, such a thing would never disappoint us. It would only make us prouder of your humanity."  
  
"How do I do it, Giles? How do I go on when everything around me reminds me of her? Even this place. How did you manage it with J..." He stopped immediately, scared to say the name for fear of causing Giles pain.  
  
Giles saw and admired the gesture, "Jenny. You *are* allowed to say her name, Xander. She's still very much a part of my life, but I no longer cringe at her mention. I survived, because you all rallied around me and gave me strength." He leaned in, as if to share a big secret, "I admit your defense of her honor in the time of Angelus was not lost on me, young man."  
  
His eyes brightened a little, though not to the point of causing a smile, "I was just..."  
  
Giles did smile slightly, "I know, Xander, you were being you. And I am forever thankful." He laid a hand on the young man's shoulder, "I imagine it will be the same for you, given time. The wounds may hurt immensely right now, but I assure you, they will heal."  
  
"I know, time heals all wounds... but what happens if the very surroundings are like salt in them at the same time? The apartment is driving me insane, and this place is almost as painful. What do I do then?"  
  
Giles thought about this for several moments, leaning back in his chair. After a while, he pulled his glasses off and cleaned them. Before replacing them on his face, he began, "Bear with me... have you considered taking a... vacation, of sorts? Time away from these painful surroundings to get your bearings back and begin the healing process?" He had put his glasses back on and was staring at Xander intently, "I don't suggest it as an alternative to the nurturing your friends here can provide... but it's possible it could help the healing process by giving you some breathing room."  
  
Xander took his turn thinking, leaning back and forth in the chair as he did. Giles had begun to worry that he'd been lost somewhere else, when the young man responded, "I like the idea, Rupert." He was unaware of his slip, but Giles didn't correct (or uncorrect) him. "I think I know just the place to go... and I don't think I'd have to sacrifice that nurturing bit you spoke about... It... it's going to be tough, I won't delude myself about that.. and it'll take some planning... but I think I can do it."  
  
Giles smiled genuinely at the boy's rise in enthusiasm. He did feel like questioning, though, "Care to enlighten me as to where you'll go?"  
  
Xander shook his head immediately, "Not right now. It needs to be *my* place for now, y'know? But I can promise to call you with personal updates about how I'm doing from time to time... I wouldn't want you guys worrying about me too much."  
  
He stood up, and Giles followed suit, "Do be careful, Xander. I know Buffy would never forgive me if something should happen to you and she found out I was involved somehow."  
  
Xander was slightly startled by the statement, but shook it off, "I'll be extra careful, Giles. I suppose you already figured I'm leaving ASAP... it'll be better that way. But I'll be back, make sure you tell them that."  
  
Giles nodded and prepared to shake his hand, when the young man seized him in a powerful hug. Startled and surprised, Giles quickly recovered and returned the strength of the hug.  
  
Xander looked at him very strangely, which the Watcher planned to question him on, until he spoke up, "I really appreciate this, Rupert Giles. You have no idea how much. And I hope someday that I can repay you for it." He pulled the man into another hug, before heading for the door.  
  
Xander turned around and smiled, almost reaching all the way to his eyes, as he commented on his way out, "Don't go getting all stuffy and stogy again while I'm gone, Rupert Giles."  
  
Giles couldn't help but laugh as the bell on the door tinkled and the door itself clicked shut.

*CUT TO: A tree within visual distance of Anya Emerson's headstone. It's slightly dark out, but from where Xander is leaning against the tree, he can still see it easily from the small candle lit next to it.*

He sat in the dark silence, going over his plans in his head as many times as he could. He was still collecting all his scattered strength and bravery to actually pull this off. It was a big step.  
  
Inevitably, he heard the branch snap. He seriously hoped it was who he thought it was. He wasn't in the mood to deal with anything but.  
  
Several moments of silence passed before she spoke, "It's really dangerous to be out this late, Xander. Especially here."  
  
"I am capable of taking care of myself, Buff."  
  
She stepped beside him, looking at the candlelight, "I didn't say you weren't. I just want you to be careful." Minutes passed with no reply, so she spoke again, "I was a little afraid that you were doing something stu... something all Romeo and Juliet. Sitting around and waiting for a vamp to come along and..." She couldn't finish the thought.  
  
He let out a small, humorless laugh, "That would be pretty stupid, wouldn't it? My luck, I'd end up more than a midnight snack. I'd find myself on the wrong end of Mr. Pointy cause I'd be like Jesse."  
  
"We need you around here, Xander. We want to help you recover from this. Not forget. Never forget. We'll all be here for you. I'll be here for you, whenever you need it."  
  
He winced visibly. He didn't know how to break this, especially to her. He gathered his strength and just said it, "No, you won't, Buff." She looked at him questioningly, "Because I'm not going to be around."  
  
She frowned, deeply. It almost surprised him as she asked, "Xander, you're not going to ki..."  
  
He shook his head strongly, "I'm not that crazy, Buffy. I'm going leaving town for awhile. Not really sure how long."  
  
"Xander, your life is here... where are you going to go?" There was more concern in her voice than anything else. He knew not to take the statement as any form of insult.  
  
He was torn over whether to tell her or not. He didn't see anything wrong with just telling her, but he didn't want her to interfere in what he had to do. In the end, she won out like she always did, "Los Angeles. I, uh, know someone there that I can stay with. I need to be away from this damn town long enough to heal this gaping wound in my chest... then I'll think about coming back."  
  
She sat there, her mouth agape with shock, before she spoke, "You're just going to up and leave?" A nod was his only reply. A thousand thoughts ran through her head, most of which she didn't bother dignifying with a second turn. She didn't know what to say. She didn't need to, as Xander began walking away. She caught up with him, "What are you doing?"  
  
"I'm leaving... right now. Otherwise I'm going to lose my nerve and it'll be impossible to leave you... guys." The pause wasn't lost on her, but she was too stunned to respond. He was walking towards his car, right there, leaving Sunnydale perhaps forever. He opened his car door, noticing her pursuit had stopped about the same time as his last statement. He looked at her for a few moments, as if to memorize what she looked like, and spoke, "Tell them what I told you. I just need time. I'll call the Magic Box when I get *there*... so you know I'm okay."  
  
Without another word, he slammed the door. On the cemetery. On Sunnydale. On Buffy.


	4. Here With Me

Title: "Nothing As It Seems"  
Episode: #4 - "Here With Me"

  
Author: RockyD  
E-mail: dollen@frontiernet.net  
Category: A/X, B/X and delusional B/S  
Rating: PG-14 (nothing worse than the show)  
Summary: A few of months after "Father Of Mine." Xander has gone to L.A. to try to recover from his tragedy. Through the course of his stay, he has had a run-in or two with the Angel Investigations crew, and eventually joins up in their fight.  
Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, they belong to Joss   
Whedon and Co. The only thing I lay claim to is the excruciating torture I put them through... and I'm sure they love me for it.  
Author's Note: I'm unsure of the exact spelling of Lorne/The Host's demon type. I hope I got it right, if not, shrug  
Author's Note #2: For reference, the series title The episode title is a song by Dido. *salute* That is all.  
Feedback: YES! I desperately need it, like an addiction. It would be appreciated. 

  
*FADE TO: Angel Investigations/Hyperion Hotel. Xander is opening a filing cabinet and depositing files.*

While he worked, Xander furthered the cartoonish cliche of whistling what he would call a jaunty tune.  
"Xander, I swear... if you don't stop whistling, I'm going to rip your lips off!" Cordelia demanded.  
"Oh I bet you will, Cordy." Xander said mockingly.  
"I don't know why we agreed to let you work with us. You're so... so..."  
"Ruggedly handsome?" Xander offered with a smirk as he leaned on the top of the cabinet.  
She glared at him, "Infuriating."  
"Oh, I don't know. There's something to be said for someone who can get the best of Cordelia Chase." Angel said as he came strolling into the office with a coffee cup full of 'breakfast.'  
Cordelia softened at his arrival, but still let out a frustrated noise as she passed by Xander to go to upstairs.  
Angel and Xander exchanged an amused look as she stomped up the stairs. Xander laughed and went back to filing, "Y'know, never in a million years did I ever think I'd be voluntarily working for you, Angel."  
Angel lost a little of his good mood as he had to remind Xander, "You aren't working *for* me, remember? Wesley is in charge."  
Xander looked genuinely guilty, "Oh, I... sorry, didn't mean to kick the dirt in your face there. My point still stands. There was a time when I'd just as soon stake you as shake your hand."  
Angel took a sip from his cup, "Don't worry about it. Love does that to people." Xander flinched, and it was his turn to apologize, "I'm sorry, Xander..."  
"Don't sweat it, Deadboy. I'm getting better." He finished his job and took his frustrations out on the cabinet door as he slammed it. He turned around, reaching for his own coffee cup, and made conversation, "Any cases on the block today?"  
"Wes and Gunn are out taking care of the only one we had. Unless we have a walk in or Cordy has another vision, we're pretty much slacking today." He hid a small smile behind his cup as he took a sip.  
"Ahh, the glory of slack. Takes me back to high school." Angel's hidden smile didn't escape him, and he decided to push, "So... Cordy, huh?"  
Angel did a double take, "What?"  
"C'mon, Angel, it's plain to see. You're hot for Vision Girl."  
"I... She..."  
"No need to explain. I, too, understand the subtly blatant wiles of that woman. And she's turning into a fine person as well." Xander's smile was genuine, "Just don't go trying to get into her pants, and I won't have to kill you."  
Angel even laughed, "I, uh, learned from my mistakes."  
"And don't go worrying... she digs you too, in that Cordelia Chase way." A strangely comfortable silence fell between them. After a few moments, Xander felt compelled to break it, "You as creeped out as I am that we're getting along so well?"  
"Pretty much."  
"Okay, well, I'm gonna go watch some TV then. See ya later, Deadboy." He made a quick exit towards the upstairs, leaving Angel to his breakfast.

*CUT TO: The Office, later that day. Wes and Gunn come walking in looking like they've been walking through a slime demon nest.*

"That is the *last* time I go walking through a slime demon nest with you." Gunn declared, reaching the counter and throwing his disgustingly slimed axe up on the counter in front of Xander.  
Wesley rolled his eyes and deposited his grimy weapons in front of Xander as well. Xander looked at them with mild annoyance, "Slime demons? I knew I was going to regret agreeing to clean weapons. I'm thanking God I opted out of laundry duty." He cautiously slid the weapons off the counter and into a large bin, which he then carried off to the office bathroom.  
"How's it goin' with him?" Gunn asked quietly when Xander was out of hearing range.  
"I believe he's coming along alright... but he's had the tendency to just push things away instead of dealing with them... We simply have to keep doing whatever we can to help him get past what he's been through." Wesley answered.  
Gunn nodded, "I should probably talk to him sometime... I kinda know how it feels to see someone you care about dying." He remembered what it was like to stake his sister.  
Wesley put a hand on his shoulder, "It couldn't hurt... but I believe we should inform Cordelia and Angel of our work first. Perhaps, then, you can go out to dinner and speak with him."  
Gunn couldn't help but smirk, "Should I buy him flowers and chocolate first?"  
"Very funny." Wes replied sarcastically, "Let's go."  
Back in the bathroom, faint scrubbing can be heard. Suddenly, there's a thudding sound, followed by splashing, "Son of a... this was my favorite shirt!"

*CUT TO: Hyperion Hotel/Angel Investigations office. Cordelia is sitting in a chair, writing stuff in a small journal, when Angel came from nowhere and leaned on the counter.*

She jumped, slamming the journal closed, and tried to act like she'd been crunching numbers on a nearby adding machine as she raised her head to look at Angel, "Yes, Angel?"  
"I, uh, was just wondering if you were okay... y'know, after the little blowout earlier."  
"I'm fine, Angel. Xander just knows how to get under my skin, and you weren't helping matters much. Ganging up on me isn't very nice."  
"We're just trying to keep you on your toes, Cor." He sat down on the bed, missing out on her slight smile at the nickname. "I was wondering, if you maybe wanted to..."  
He was interrupted by a short scream from Cordelia as she began clutching her forehead. Angel rushed over to stabilize her before she fell out of the chair, and nearly had his eardrums burst as she screamed again.  
Heavy footsteps could be heard making their way down the stairs. Cordelia convulsed for several short moments, until she finally relaxed.  
Wesley and Gunn came into the office shortly after, in time to hear Cordelia pant, "1530... South... Brooker... green, three-horns, likes to bite heads off..."  
Xander arrived slightly late, his hair wet from a shower, and Wesley went into boss-mode, "It sounds like a K'darak demon... Angel, Xander, and I, will go take care of it... Gunn can stay and make sure Cordelia is okay."  
Gunn nodded, "I know the drill. Go make this thing wish it didn't earn Cordelia a migraine."

*CUT TO: Later in the evening. Angel, Wesley, and Xander enter, bearing dirty weapons and exchanging pleasantries.*

"That was truly a... beautiful strike you made, Xander. You've come quite a long way from when I first met you. Your skill with the swor..." His compliment was interrupted by Angel quietly mumbling something he couldn't hear, "What?"  
Xander repeated it, breathlessly, "Buffy..."  
Angel was the first to react, rushing up to her and giving her a monstrous hug. She gave him a weak hug back and smiled faintly at him. Angel immediately prodded her, "Is there... something wrong?"  
"No, no... Everything is fine. Actually, I..." She paused, sensing this would hurt, "I actually came to see Xander."  
To say both men were dumbfounded would be an understatement. They both looked like Buffy had just started glowing like Christmas tree lights. Wesley saw they were both incapable of speech, so proceeded to continue the conversation, "To see Xander? Well, I... It's nice to see you."  
"You too." She glanced quickly at the two stunned men, "Think either of them will come out of this soon?"  
Wesley shrugged, "Difficult to tell." Xander walked past him wordlessly, and gave Buffy a silent but strong hug, before gliding himself over to the couch and sitting down.  
Buffy followed him, taking a seat on the same couch. Wesley quietly maneuvered Angel into his office and closed the door. Xander was still processing the symbolism he picked up from Buffy's statement. Since he'd been here in L.A., he'd gotten periodic calls from Willow detailing how worried they were about him, and about how he was doing. He'd never actually heard from Buffy herself that she was worried. Or that she was coming to visit. Him. He just assumed she didn't have the time to do anything like that.  
Buffy slugged him on the arm lightly, forcing him out of his trance, "I know what you're thinking."  
"Really?" He replied, unconvinced.  
"I just wanted to surprise you. I didn't even tell Willow about it, because you know how she is about secrets. I wanted to come here and make sure you were doing okay... not just saying what I want to hear and then hanging up the phone. This way, I can beat the truth out of you."  
He smiled faintly, "Please don't hit me... I just had a run in with a K'darak demon who didn't really appreciate me cutting one of it's horns off."  
She smiled, "Really? I heard Wesley start to say you were getting good with a sword. I'm glad you're getting to do stuff like that. I wasn't exactly warm towards the idea of you going out there fighting demons. I didn't want you dead."  
His heart almost stopped. The way she said the last sentence, the tone of voice, was something he'd never thought he'd hear. Addressed to him. He quickly became uncomfortable, and deflected the comment, "Well, you know how much of an aversion I have to death. I've got lots of things I'd rather do."  
Buffy stood up and offered him a hand, "Why don't we go have some dinner? You only ever tell Willow vague stuff about how you're doing here, and I'd like to hear the truth."  
He took her hand to help him up, and glanced at the office quickly, "Don't you want to... talk to Angel?"  
She shook her head, smiling, "He's gonna be around forever. You've only got 50 or 60 years left." He had no way of hiding the smile her statement brought on. Without much more hesitation, he lead her out of the building and off into the night.  
Angel cracked the door open a little more, his eyes showing a mixture of disbelief and quiet hurt. He quietly walked out, grabbed the weapons, and headed into the bathroom to clean them. He needed something to keep his mind off the way Buffy was treating Xander.

*CUT TO: Caritas. Buffy and Xander are talking at the bar over a drink, trying to ignore the screeching voice coming from the stage.*

"This place is really... charming." Buffy commented, looking around.  
"It's got its positives and negatives. Mostly negatives, but who am I to complain?"  
"Hey, tall, dark, and sarcastic... don't knock it or you won't be coming back." The Host joked casually. He glanced at Buffy momentarily, "Who's the walking knock-out?"  
Xander laughed, "Lorne, you have no idea how right you are. This here, is Buffy."  
The Host gasped audibly, "The one and only Slayer?" He took a slight bow, "It's a pleasure to meet you, sweet cheeks."  
Buffy looked slightly uncomfortable, "This is a nice place you have here."  
"Well, I try." He looked at her carefully, before speaking to Xander, "You convinced this little powerhouse to get up and sing yet?"  
Xander glared, "Lorne, you can't even get me up there. And I'm far less stubborn than her."  
"Hey!" Buffy cried, slapping Xander on the arm.  
"Harris, you can't blame me for wanting to read you. You're such a tasty mystery treat. I'll get you one of these days." He smiled at Buffy, before and gestured at her as if she were a target, "You too, babe," Shortly afterwards, he headed off to give the screecher their reading.  
"Read you? What's he mean?" Buffy was confused.  
Xander smiled faintly, "This'll be fun to explain. Lorne there is an Anagogic demon. He can read people's futures, their destinies. Only catch is, you have to sing in front of him before he can do it."  
Buffy looked skeptical, "You sure it isn't just a sick sense of humor?"  
Xander shook his head, "Nope, did research on it myself. To make sure he wasn't just out there to make an ass out of the demon population. But I still won't let him read me. I don't really want to know what's in store."  
Buffy nodded, "I understand."  
"Now, Buff, tell me why you're here."  
Buffy avoided his eyes, "I haven't seen you for a few months, Xander. Can't a friend come to visit without it being out of the ordinary?"  
Xander looked at her closely, "Not when the friend hasn't called personally the whole time... is something up, Buffy?"  
She finally looked up at him, sighing as she replied, "I just miss you, Xan. I went 5 years with you there for me all the time, and now you're not. I guess I just didn't realize how much I needed you in Sunnydale until you weren't."  
His eyes clouded over, and he took a gulp of his drink. She kept her stare fixed on him for several minutes, before it became painfully obvious he didn't want to talk about it. He sighed, unable to stay silent with her for much longer, "So how long are you in town?"  
"For the weekend. I adjusted my hours so I had them off. Now I'm just going in a little earlier than usual." She glanced around the bar quickly, "I figured I could use a little bit of a break from the daily grind."  
"Well, Buffy, it is nice to see you. I'm getting my life together, all over again. Strangely enough, thanks to Angel." He motioned to The Host, who had returned to the bar, for another drink, "I was in L.A. for a few days, when I ran into what I like to refer to as the 'welcoming party.' About a half-dozen vamps, out to paint the town red, with me."  
"What happened?" She asked, worry in her voice.  
"Well, I took a couple of them out... but they were too much. I was about a thirty seconds away from being a vampire snack... when Angel, Wesley, and this other guy Gunn, showed up. Made pretty quick work of them. I was surprised to run into them so soon... but I thanked them and went my separate way."  
"How did you come to work with them?"  
He smiled, "Just a second, the best part is coming up. I went out a few nights later... and the same thing happens again, I'm almost puppy chow for a vamp gang. Angel and his crew save me again. Turns out, my apartment was a couple of blocks away from a vampire nest." He laughed, "Angel convinced me to come and help destroy it... didn't take long, and afterwards, Cordelia bullied me into coming and staying with them."  
"Cordelia..." Buffy said, looking into her drink, "Guess it was nice to see her, huh?"  
"After almost two years of non-communicado, yeah it was." He looked at her with narrow eyes. Eventually he just shrugged. He stood up and laid down some money for the drinks, "Unless you've got the sudden urge for some 'Baby... One More Time,' then I suggest we book before Lackdaro the Cheznok demon gets on stage."  
Buffy looked at the purple demon climbing on stage and gratefully took his arm as he led her out of Caritas.

*CUT TO: Hyperion Hotel, later that evening. Xander and Buffy are walking back through the entrance.*

"Well, now that I've been to Caritas, I can honestly say that I've seen and heard it all." Buffy declared, swinging her purse around wildly.  
Xander laughed, "You've obviously never seen Lackdaro before. It does a mean 'I Got You Babe' with Lorne that'll have you either clapping or convulsing."  
"Sounds wonderful." Buffy replied sarcastically.  
He stopped and leaned on the counter, "Well, Buffy, I enjoy the company of a Slayer very much... but this little boy has to get to bed so he can wake up for his *paying* job."  
"Paying job?"  
"Well, the caseload has been kinda light lately, and Wes can't exactly pay us all a decent wage... or at all. So for the time being, I snagged a little construction work with a client we had a few weeks ago. A few nasties were tearing up one of his sites, and he hired us to clear them out. Anyway, the schedule is light... I come in when they don't need me here, and if I get a call, I can just leave with no consequences. Works out quite nicely for everyone."  
"Glad you're doing okay here." Buffy said, looking pensive.  
"You should probably talk to Angel... he might be in his office if they aren't out on a call." He glanced towards the office door quickly.  
Buffy did the same, but shook her head, "Nah... I think I'm gonna turn in and start fresh tomorrow."  
Xander looked at her like she had grown a second head, "Uh... alright, then... Follow me and I'll show you to your room. Here at the Hyperion we can't promise a good night's sleep, but we *can* promise you a cold, fanged smile to greet you at some random point in the night. That, and we ask that you please don't eat any mints left on your pillows. Trust me, they aren't mints."  
Buffy let out a squeaking laugh, before going and picking up her bags from where she left them earlier. Xander lead the way up the stairs as she followed silently.


End file.
